During the sleep challenge we’ve talked about reasons you can’t sleep and avoiding the physical sleep inhibitors. We also talked about how to deal with not sleeping because of unfinished business. We’re now going to talk about the remaining two reasons from the prior list.
Anger and worry are powerful emotions. Neither of these are associated with calm and relaxation. Anger is a key ingredient for news stories, drama, and action. People smash stuff, incite violence, and yell when angry. Who can sleep through that?
Worry is an incessant feeling. An idea, fear, or problem inspires such anxiety that you can’t stop thinking about it. You’re focused on an outcome that is not assured. Worry is a fear of loss. People are inherently loss averse. It’s one of the great motivators and a common sales tactic. People will make rash, emotional decisions in this state. We often feel caught by worries and can’t escape. Like anger, it’s hard to relax in this state. Worry is not a relaxed state.
We still need sleep. Sleep gives us strength to deal with life. Sleep rejuvenates the body and mind. Sleep helps everything. People who are well rested are less likely to get angry or feel worried. Sleep helps balance us. In a recurring theme during this challenge, sleep is part of the solution to all our problems, including anger and worry.
Returning to our initial question, what happens if anger or worry are preventing our sleep. It’s an interesting relationship where more of one prevents the other and the same goes for the opposite direction. More sleep reduces anger and worry. More anger or worry and you’ll probably get less sleep. In this case, prevention is the best medicine.
That’s great, you might be thinking, but I’m already worried about something. We’ve all been there. These emotions are human and natural. Life has ups and downs. Let’s quickly tackle these issues separately.
Anger is often directed at a source. Whether it’s an insult or accident, something has lit you up in a bad way. If you have anger issues, you might need professional counseling. Let’s assume that’s not your deal. Talk yourself off the ledge when trying to sleep at night. First, tell yourself that the anger is preventing your sleep. Don’t give “them” a double victory over you by taking your valuable sleep. Second, accept that you can’t do anything about it now. It’s probably a bad time to do anything about it. Compartmentalize the anger through this process. Finally, schedule a time to deal with it. If you need to, put it in your calendar to deal with at 10 AM the next day. This will signal to your brain and body that you’re not letting this injustice slide, you’re just putting it on your terms. Anger is an emotional force. Temper it by applying rational judgement. Turning to your rational brain can detach you from the emotions that make your blood boil. As you calm down, you’re already closer to sleep.
Worry is the infection made worse by scratching. The more you worry, the greater anxiety you feel. If you’re in bed at night with worry, kick her out. Stop worrying. Like Bob Marley said, “Don’t worry. Be happy.” Rational thought is your friend here as well. Worrying never solved any problem, ever. As mentioned earlier, worry is a fear of loss. It’s a scarcity mindset. This problem might cost you money. You’ll make more. You might lose your job. You’ll find a new one. Your friend might turn her back on you. You’re probably better off without her. The funniest part – you should laugh at yourself for this – is many of our worries either don’t come true or aren’t as bad we imagine. This can be enough to settle your mind to sleep. Another approach is available.
Hidden within worry is the seed of its own defeat. We worry because something hasn’t happened and often because we can’t do anything else about it. If you’re worried because you can’t do anything about it, that’s your out. Take a pass. You can’t do anything about it now, so don’t. Don’t think about it. Don’t waste time or energy on it. Sleep is an option and a beneficial one. You can do that, and it will help you deal with the challenges in your life.